Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Day 20: 31 for 21--Revisiting the P's.....photography,procrastination,prayers,and patience

No photographs yet on the blog as I haven't explored this blogging stuff enough yet.   That is why a two year old picture is the only picture up on the blog right now.  I put that up when I thought I was going to start this blog way back in the day.   I am sure it is easy to do, but what I really want to do is hire someone to design my blog for me.  I am sure that I could come up with something on my own, but I don't feel I have enough time to do that at this moment.  So, no pictures of Katie and the rest of us for now.  I am not the greatest picture taker either.  I chop heads off, miss the really great shots, don't get in close enough to the details and just generally suck at taking pictures.  There are some really happening blogs out there.  The writing and photography blow me away.  My dream is to someday have a Canon Digital Rebel or a Nikon D90 or some crazy contraption like that.  I think it would make my crappy pictures look better in some sort of way. Either way, the photography is coming.

Oh, and another thing....I like to procrastinate too much!  I put off starting this blog for the past year or so.  I kept saying I would get started on it and it would never happen.  I hate the feeling of putting off something at the last minute, but it seems to run in tandem for Kiley and I.  We have good intentions, but we are way late on the delivery sometimes?  I am one of those people who will wait until the last minute to pack and then be in a panic because I have wasted good time messing around and not doing it until I absolutely have to.  Now I am not a procrastinator in all things, but I have very strong tendencies to go in that direction.  Let me not procrastinate too long about getting this blog set up the way I want and getting pictures posted.....we shall see how things look in 6 months.

I do a lot of talking to different people.  Today I had two different instances where I wanted to cry about something that occurred.  I have always found that praying for others keeps my perspective of what is truly wonderful in my life at the forefront of my thoughts.  Does that make any sense?  I can sit and think about things that make me upset or worried, but it is when I start turning my mind to what others need, it is then that I am humbled by how small my problems seem.  I keep a prayer book.  I use to be much better at writing all my requests in it.  I have slacked off so much this past year and a half.  Journaling has always been something I love to do.  I have done it since I was a young teenager.  It is a very rare time that I have ever gone back and read something I have written.  Someday I may thumb through some journals and read some entries.  I can't make myself let go of the ones from the last 15 years or so.  I know that memories will be with me in my head, but maybe someday my children would like to read my innermost thoughts and see their mom in a totally different way.  I don't know.  I just know that my prayer book has been mostly empty as of late.  When  I say I am praying for someone, I don't just say it or write it down and never fulfill that promise.  Someone who asks for prayers is believing that you are going to do what you say. If you need to be lifted in prayer, you let me know.  I would be honored to pray for you.

How many times have you felt your patience wearing thin in any given day?  Some days it is a battle to stay pleasant and positive.  I think that I have always been a patient person, but even more so since Katie arrived.  I see her little, chubby fingers working so hard to pick up something small, or how she wants to say a word and her mouth is open and no sound is coming out.  I am patient.  When we get behind someone who is slow in the checkout line or in the left lane of traffic, how patient are we?  When someone is stuttering because of a stroke, do we let them talk or do we finish their sentence for them?  When someone is trying to learn something new, do you let out a huge sigh or scream in your head because they are impeding your progress?  How many times do we lose our patience even if its for a split second?  I look at Katie and I am able to slow down and hang out at her pace.  I see things that I never would have bothered looking at twice when I see them through her eyes.  I drove up to my parents today to pick her up.  My dad and Katie were out front looking at my moms flowers.  Katie had her hands clasped behind her back peering into the flowers.  My dad was letting her take all the time in the world that she wanted to look at them.  How many times have I walked by those flowers in the last 6 months and never paid any attention to them?  Today I saw those flowers because I was patient, because I allowed myself a moment to look through the eyes of my child, to really see what she was seeing.  We are a world on the go.  Take the time to count to 3 or 30 the next time you feel your patience wearing thin.  Your eyes may see more than they ever imagined.   

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