Day 6: 31 for 21---Designs,Diagnosis,Dads and Donations

My blog is new yet really old.  I know there is a place to find when I first started this blog, but I have no idea where I saw that. I think I came here almost 2 years ago and just left the pages blank.  This blog has been silently sitting here waiting for me to take the first steps in bringing it to life.  I am not computer savvy at all.  I know that I need to update and add pictures.  I need to get all the blogs I read now linked over into this space.  (I just add to my feeds currently.)  I am sure there are many other things I could do to really make this my space, but for now it will be tweaked when I am able to find time. 

Of course my daughters designers' genes is what brings me here in the first place.  Do you remember how you felt when you got the diagnosis?  I am pretty sure that those feelings for most everyone is a very vivid memory.  To this day I remember the exact thoughts that ran through my head when I was told the news.  (I was alone in the hospital room when the news was given to me.)  I very calmly asked what characteristics did the doctor see to make them suspect she had Down syndrome.  I then asked if the nurse would call my doctor to get me discharged so that I go and be with my daughter as they transferred her to another hospital. I remember the doctor specifically asking me if I understood what they had just told me.  I said yes, you are saying my child probably has Down syndrome.  My voice or facial expressions said anything to them.  I just smiled at them and started calling my husband and parents.  Kiley's first words were "Oh no Donna" and my parents couldn't even say anything, they just started crying.  This would be the beginning of walking into the unknown.  We arrived in the NICU on Easter Sunday.  We knew that it would be the next day before we saw the geneticist and that they would draw blood to confirm their suspected diagnosis.  It would take approximately 7 days to get the actual confirmation of DS.  Once we were told, we kept looking at K to see if we could "see" the DS.  I wanted to read up on DS, but my request for a book was put on hold until I was given the "official" diagnosis.  They didn't want me to read the book and get upset if it turned out she didn't have DS.  I told them that I would be better educated if that was the case, but still, no book showed up until after it was confirmed.  Once they suspected and told me their suspicions, I knew that the diagnosis would confirm it.  I never doubted it for a second after that.  There are three types of DS.  K has the most common form.   It had not been 16 hours since I had just given birth and here I was jumping around and rushing home to pack and get on the road.  Never mind that I had just come off of complete bed rest for the past several weeks and two back to back hospitalizations for pre-eclampsia.  I knew there was nowhere else for me to be than to be with the precious child that God had just given me.  So that was how we received the diagnosis. 

Thank God that I married a man who loves his children fiercely.  He fully embraced K just as she was.  He wanted the same things I wanted, for her to get healthier and to take her home and love on her.  Kiley has a very kind heart and K is very luck to have him as a dad.  His children mean the world to him.  I definitely think guys handle the diagnosis differently than the women.  We tend to stress and over analyze too much.  Guys just accept and keep moving on.  Now I am not putting a stereotype on either sex.  I know there are men who cried and women who didn't.  I just feel like in general, men keep their feelings hidden for the most part. Divorce rates are much higher for families who have special needs children.   I remember when we joined a support group.  Kiley went just to support me.  He did it because I asked him to, not because he felt like he needed it.  Whereas, I needed it then and still do now.   

Which leads me to a different topic--donations.  If you are looking to support a group, you can choose to help a local Down syndrome support group or donating to a Buddy Walk.  There is also an amazing ministry called Reece's Rainbow.  They help find forever families for orphans in other countries.  More about this ministry tomorrow......